View Full Version : Late Easter Bunny Joke



J_Cyr
04-17-2006, 04:36 PM
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A blonde driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The blonde turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

Dave and Gail
04-17-2006, 05:41 PM
Good one, and Im glad the easter bunny didnt really die..Whew!

Hiram357
04-17-2006, 05:48 PM
haha, my mom ran over a bunny on easter once!! but i don't think hairspray could've brought it back, i think it needed something like a 2 part epoxy....

WhereRWe?
04-17-2006, 06:24 PM
haha, my mom ran over a bunny on easter once!! but i don't think hairspray could've brought it back, i think it needed something like a 2 part epoxy....

Gorilla Glue! :D :D

J_Cyr
04-17-2006, 06:28 PM
Here is a story you can all make fun of me for later...

(Thats a nice way to start out a forum post huh...)hmm...

Well when I was 5, my family was driving down a back road looking at Christmas lights on houses, and we hit a rabbit. Actually... we slaughtered it! There wasn't nothing left when the front and rear wheels pounded it to the ground... and I was in the back seat, and said...."are we dead yet?"

I was five... now go on, make fun of me. But just remember, atleast I am not afraid to tell my five-year old stories!!

WhereRWe?
04-17-2006, 07:07 PM
I was five... now go on, make fun of me. But just remember, atleast I am not afraid to tell my five-year old stories!!

Well - we all know I'm "from away" - but we lived in Maine when I was between the ages of 2 and 5. My Dad was an avid hunter, and he took me with him on a rabbit hunting trip one time. His hunting partner had a couple beagles, who always had their nose to the tracks. It is reported - I doubt the acuracy of this tale, however - that on several occasions I got down on the ground to smell the tracks as well... :o :o

Haffy
04-17-2006, 07:23 PM
Well here is one that I'm glad I don't remember but my folks told me about it and I still cringe when they remind me of it. When I was old enough to train to use the potty they told me that the toilet seat fell down on it and that is why I have that nickname now......lol Glad I don't remember it.:eek: :eek:

J_Cyr
04-17-2006, 07:33 PM
LMAO!! LOL. Sorry. I am ok now. :D

Dave and Gail
04-17-2006, 07:40 PM
When my two boys were 4 and 5 years old, I would take them out walking on the woods trails. They were going through a stage about being scared of bears. I told them all the usual stuff like my Dad told me,,"they are more afraid of you than you are of them",, "IF a bear see's you first, you will never see Him",,, "Dont go near a mother and her young"..etc. etc. Getting ready for our hike one day, the oldest, Jase, was repeating the things that I had told them, just to reassure himself, and I would agree"yup, thats right, they wont bother us" The youngest, Evan, pipes up and says " Ya , but remember what Dad said,, IF you see a Mother bear, DON'T GO NEAR THE EGGS!!' He's 20 now, and he still gets reminded of that to this day!!

Hiram357
04-17-2006, 09:30 PM
hahaha, wow, those are all great stories, don't expect me to tell any cuz a lot of those old habits i still have today! :)

LaughingTerry
04-17-2006, 10:22 PM
Well here is one that I'm glad I don't remember but my folks told me about it and I still cringe when they remind me of it. When I was old enough to train to use the potty they told me that the toilet seat fell down on it and that is why I have that nickname now......lol Glad I don't remember it.:eek: :eek:

That happened to me too...... and I DO remember it. I cried for a long time. LOL

Then there was the time I sat on a red ant hill and had an ant bite me several times right on the end of........uh.....well.......anyway, it hurt.

J_Cyr
04-17-2006, 11:19 PM
Terry... I am going to give you some advice... cherish it!!

Don't pee on a bee!!

firefighterjake
04-18-2006, 08:36 AM
Terry... I am going to give you some advice... cherish it!!

Don't pee on a bee!!

Or on an electric fence . . . I learned that one from Dad. :)

Incidentally he also said that feeding a cow a Hershey bar will not produce chocolate milk . . . he learned this one when he was younger as well.

Dave and Gail
04-18-2006, 06:38 PM
Or into the wind!!

Hiram357
04-18-2006, 07:08 PM
Or into the wind!! I did that the other day up in milanocket!! except it was so windy ya couldn't tell which way the wind was going! from the time i started and the time i completed the task the wind changed on me 3 times!! :o

Smitty & Co.
04-22-2006, 09:57 AM
Or on an electric fence . . . I learned that one from Dad. :)

Incidentally he also said that feeding a cow a Hershey bar will not produce chocolate milk . . . he learned this one when he was younger as well.

Some of life's most important lessons are learned on the farm. :p I too learned that you don't pee on an electric fence. I was about 8 and used to hang out with friends whose family owned one of the largest dairy farms in Somerset county. Being a dumb and naive youngster I seemed to love a good dare (it was really peer pressure,lol) When dared to whiz on the fence while standing in a puddle on a wet and drizzly day I jumped at the chance......:eek: ......and then I did some jumping,:mad: if ya know what I mean. My friends felt kinda bad after this incident:D and offered to take me to the milkroom where they said we could get chocolate milk by feeding a cow a hersey bar.........did I mention that I was really dumb & naive?? I've since learned my lesson.....kinda...sorta... but if anyone can tell me where I can find a left-handed hammer and a bucket of steam I'd really appreciate it.:D

firefighterjake
04-22-2006, 11:56 AM
Some of life's most important lessons are learned on the farm. :p I too learned that you don't pee on an electric fence. I was about 8 and used to hang out with friends whose family owned one of the largest dairy farms in Somerset county. Being a dumb and naive youngster I seemed to love a good dare (it was really peer pressure,lol) When dared to whiz on the fence while standing in a puddle on a wet and drizzly day I jumped at the chance......:eek: ......and then I did some jumping,:mad: if ya know what I mean. My friends felt kinda bad after this incident:D and offered to take me to the milkroom where they said we could get chocolate milk by feeding a cow a hersey bar.........did I mention that I was really dumb & naive?? I've since learned my lesson.....kinda...sorta... but if anyone can tell me where I can find a left-handed hammer and a bucket of steam I'd really appreciate it.:D

Smitty . . . similar experience to my Dad.

Smitty . . . are you my daddy?:D

Smitty & Co.
04-22-2006, 12:03 PM
Smitty . . . similar experience to my Dad.

Smitty . . . are you my daddy?:D

LOL...Hey kid, go grab me a bucket of steam and a left handed hammer, quick!! (shhhh, don't tell your mother, its going to be a surprise :D )

dí76
04-22-2006, 04:59 PM
Some of life's most important lessons are learned on the farm. :p I too learned that you don't pee on an electric fence. I was about 8 and used to hang out with friends whose family owned one of the largest dairy farms in Somerset county. Being a dumb and naive youngster I seemed to love a good dare (it was really peer pressure,lol) When dared to whiz on the fence while standing in a puddle on a wet and drizzly day I jumped at the chance......:eek: ......and then I did some jumping,:mad: if ya know what I mean. My friends felt kinda bad after this incident:D and offered to take me to the milkroom where they said we could get chocolate milk by feeding a cow a hersey bar.........did I mention that I was really dumb & naive?? I've since learned my lesson.....kinda...sorta... but if anyone can tell me where I can find a left-handed hammer and a bucket of steam I'd really appreciate it.:D

http://www.stortz.com/slatehammers.html

Smitty & Co.
04-22-2006, 05:35 PM
http://www.stortz.com/slatehammers.html

:eek: By Golly my search for a left-handed hammer is finally over....:p ....now about that bucket of steam. :rolleyes:

dí76
04-22-2006, 05:42 PM
:eek: By Golly my search for a left-handed hammer is finally over....:p ....now about that bucket of steam. :rolleyes:

http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Bucket_20of_20Steam

Smitty & Co.
04-22-2006, 06:08 PM
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Bucket_20of_20Steam

:eek: Sheesh....ain't the internet a wonderful thing. :D

Hiram357
04-22-2006, 09:21 PM
ya know, i've been doing HVAC-R for about 6 years and over the years i've developed ways to improve residential units... so i'm selling bags of BTUs for $80, ones for A/C are $120 each....

Sudonim
04-22-2006, 10:09 PM
I'm in the Air Force and I'm still looking for that bucket of propwash sarge sent me to get...

Hiram357
04-22-2006, 10:20 PM
I'm in the Air Force and I'm still looking for that bucket of propwash sarge sent me to get...

geeze i'm not even in the services, but even i know that they keep those over by the sky hooks (that'll pick up just about anything as high as you want) and wire stretchers (which come in really handy when your wires are just a few inches too short)

dí76
04-22-2006, 10:21 PM
geeze i'm not even in the services, but even i know that they keep those over by the sky hooks (that'll pick up just about anything as high as you want) and wire stretchers (which come in really handy when your wires are just a few inches too short)

In the wood shop we used to send the newbies after the board streachers:D

Dave and Gail
04-22-2006, 10:24 PM
How about 20 yards of flight line??

Hiram357
04-22-2006, 10:27 PM
How about 20 yards of flight line?? sorry dave, OSHA banned those after the great popsicle stick incident of 2002 :(

Sudonim
04-22-2006, 10:29 PM
In the wood shop we used to send the newbies after the board streachers:D
Cut that darn board 3 times and it's still too short...

Hiram357
04-22-2006, 10:36 PM
Cut that darn board 3 times and it's still too short...
are you sure you're cutting it from the right end??