View Full Version : Ten Husbands



J_Cyr
12-08-2005, 05:51 PM
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...God, I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

"You're with the Government. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED!

WhereRWe?
12-08-2005, 07:20 PM
What did you say you did for a living, Jordan??? :p :p

dí76
12-08-2005, 07:42 PM
What did you say you did for a living, Jordan??? :p :p

It is unlikely that if he is a full time student at UMPI that he has time to make a living:D

J_Cyr
12-08-2005, 09:42 PM
Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy. :cool:

Hiram357
12-08-2005, 10:50 PM
Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy. :cool:

wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee. :eek:

J_Cyr
12-09-2005, 12:27 AM
Sounds like you don't have time to even stop and drink some coffee! :p

firefighterjake
12-09-2005, 07:41 AM
wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee. :eek:

You my friend would make an excellent candidate for any city, state or federal agency . . . I'll let you know if there's an opening in Bangor. :)

firefighterjake
12-09-2005, 07:45 AM
Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy. :cool:

Quite a wide variety of interests there Jordan . . . talk about working in life-and-death fields. As a firefighter you may end up saving a life . . . or you may end up seeing them on the other side (no, not that "other side") if things don't go so well and they end up needing your services at the funeral home.

As a mechanic you can bring a dead car back to life by simply (well, maybe not so "simply") putting in a few parts and as the undertaker . . . well, there's no fixing that issue I suppose.

I assume you're with Caribou FD?

Also, you've probably mentioned it, but I'm curious . . . with such a wide range of activities . . . what exactly are you going to school to do?

Haffy
12-09-2005, 08:29 AM
wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee. :eek:


Hey Hiram,I'm unemployed at the time would there be any job openings in what you do?:D

J_Cyr
12-09-2005, 10:24 AM
Jake,

I guess I never thought of it that way really, but I guess thats who I am and a geocacher on top of that. I am going to school for Criminal Justice and once I graduate I will then decide what I want to do. I am not so apt on being a police officer, not real interested in that line of duty, rather be in a building on fire, if you will, lol. But I am taking the 100 hours course next semester for CRJ. At the funeral home we do 2-3 removals a week and roughly the same number of funerals and 50% of them are cremations that number is getting higher and higher. Well, I have to run to town and then go to work! Have a good day all.

Hiram357
12-09-2005, 09:29 PM
Sounds like you don't have time to even stop and drink some coffee! :p

Yeah, well a person of my caliber rarely has time to do everything, i have to keep the rest of the world going. :D

Hiram357
12-09-2005, 09:31 PM
You my friend would make an excellent candidate for any city, state or federal agency . . . I'll let you know if there's an opening in Bangor. :)

I look foward to it, kissing hands and shaking babies is my kinda thing... I actually filled out a form to be in the presidential elections... they said i was over qualified to be president... i'm currently working on the dictator application :cool:

Hiram357
12-09-2005, 09:34 PM
Hey Hiram,I'm unemployed at the time would there be any job openings in what you do?:D

Well Haffy i'm sure we can work something out, first you have to be extremely good looking and very likeable, second you gotta be suave and cunning... like 007 only not so british, and third you need training... lots of training, i myself have been through many years of training to get where i am. so if you're still interested i can probably get you in the door... for only a small pile of money, of course. ;)

Hiram357
12-09-2005, 09:35 PM
i'm out of humorous and interesting things to say, i just want to see how many times i can reply to one thread without passing out :D

Hiram357
12-09-2005, 09:36 PM
loook ma! im goin for a record!! :p

J_Cyr
12-09-2005, 11:17 PM
Nope... he don't have time on his hands...:p

Team2hunt
12-10-2005, 08:27 AM
Well Haffy i'm sure we can work something out, first you have to be extremely good looking and very likeable, second you gotta be suave and cunning... like 007 only not so british, and third you need training... lots of training, i myself have been through many years of training to get where i am. so if you're still interested i can probably get you in the door... for only a small pile of money, of course. ;)

I'm a certified trainer, I can help you Haffy. And... I know how to find things. ;) I'll be up in your neck of the woods, right after I'm done down in Massachusetts's , neck of the woods. :D