View Full Version : OT: FFJake gives blood



firefighterjake
01-10-2006, 09:56 AM
Here's a link to my bi-weekly humor column . . . it's about me giving blood. Did you know that they don't want to take your blood if you're in the habit of fornicating with Congolese chimpanzees . . . really, it's true. :)

http://waldo.villagesoup.com/guestcolumns/story.cfm?storyID=66131

The editor also decided to give me some "front" page billing on the website and have a little fun with me . . . note the accompanying photo of Arnold.

http://waldo.villagesoup.com

becket
01-11-2006, 06:38 AM
ffjake, this is such a cool story! i really enjoy reading the stories you write. this is the kind of xmas gift i would love to get! (and i still haven't gotten up the courage to donate blood) one of my best friends, shay-shay, used to work for the red cross, doing blood drives. i can't wait to read her this story.

firefighterjake
01-11-2006, 10:51 AM
ffjake, this is such a cool story! i really enjoy reading the stories you write. this is the kind of xmas gift i would love to get! (and i still haven't gotten up the courage to donate blood) one of my best friends, shay-shay, used to work for the red cross, doing blood drives. i can't wait to read her this story.

Thanks for the kind words . . . and about donating blood . . . trust me it's not as bad as you might think . . . just keep thinking about how your blood donation could help save a teen-ager involved in a bad car accident . . . a grandfather with cancer . . . a premie-baby . . . and if that doesn't work for you, just keep thinking about those freshly-baked oatmeal-cranraisin cookies! :)

Sabby
01-11-2006, 11:07 AM
You really have a way with words. I loved the story.

I must be missing something on the front page link though. Is that you with Fidel.

firefighterjake
01-11-2006, 11:17 AM
You really have a way with words. I loved the story.

I must be missing something on the front page link though. Is that you with Fidel.

:) No. Originally the front page link had a picture of Arnold Schwartznegger with a caption saying, "Arnold Schwartznegger or our columnist Jason Johnson?"

becket
01-11-2006, 12:12 PM
Thanks for the kind words . . . and about donating blood . . . trust me it's not as bad as you might think . . . just keep thinking about how your blood donation could help save a teen-ager involved in a bad car accident . . . a grandfather with cancer . . . a premie-baby . . . and if that doesn't work for you, just keep thinking about those freshly-baked oatmeal-cranraisin cookies! :)

well, the cookies wouldn't be an incentive - but brownies! now, i could go for them! i have to have bloodwork every 3 months and it is always such an ordeal, i can't imagine having more taken! but you are right, i have to get over my fear and just do it. again, thank you for your stories

we3beans
01-17-2006, 03:19 PM
Good Job!
I was a regular donor for years and hope to one day get back to it, it is a very important service. For folks who have not been to donate, this is a very accurate portrayal. You can joke with Nurse Holyoke like that, but the rest....
BTW, I recommend the Strawberry/Kiwi juice.
:)

Hiram357
01-17-2006, 04:19 PM
So what did the wife think of the gift?? did you wrap it with the cookie?? I give blood often and my light hearted sense of humor/stipidity really adds to the atmosphere, those questionaires kill me, every time i start i always just say "NO" right off, and then the nurse always goes into an in depth explanation of why i have to answer every question. last time i went i got a pretty nice long sleeve shirt. giving blood is cool :D

Haffy
01-17-2006, 04:53 PM
Just gave blood today for the first time in over 20 years or so. It was a good feeling and hope I will continue to do so from now on.:)

dí76
01-17-2006, 05:03 PM
I am ashamed to admit that I have never gave blood. I dont know why , I probably should cause some day I'm sure I will need it. Oh well, I am an organ donor if that helps.

Hiram357
01-17-2006, 05:14 PM
I am ashamed to admit that I have never gave blood. I dont know why , I probably should cause some day I'm sure I will need it. Oh well, I am an organ donor if that helps.

well consider yourself asked :D now you have to go, or your overwhelming guilt will one day be too much to bear while your driving down the road by yourself one day, and you'll just burst into tears because you'll be thinking of all the lives that could have been saved by giving less than an hour of your time and a pint of blood. and your eyes will be so full of tears that you wont be able to see where you're going and your car will drift off the road into a tree and you'll be seriously injured and the paramedics will show up on the scene and theyll drag you out of the car and stuff you in the back of the ambulance and you'll be laying there saying to yourself, "thank God they showed up just in time to save my life" and at just that moment you'll hear one of them say "Uh-Oh, we don't have any blood in stock that matches your blood type, we won't be able to save you today... so sorry" and in your final moments you'll be saying to yourself "Arrrg! Why are people so greedy that they can't spend an hour to donate one lousy pint of blood that couldve save my life tod........" ;)

dí76
01-17-2006, 05:21 PM
well consider yourself asked :D now you have to go, or your overwhelming guilt will one day be too much to bear while your driving down the road by yourself one day, and you'll just burst into tears because you'll be thinking of all the lives that could have been saved by giving less than an hour of your time and a pint of blood. and your eyes will be so full of tears that you wont be able to see where you're going and your car will drift off the road into a tree and you'll be seriously injured and the paramedics will show up on the scene and theyll drag you out of the car and stuff you in the back of the ambulance and you'll be laying there saying to yourself, "thank God they showed up just in time to save my life" and at just that moment you'll hear one of them say "Uh-Oh, we don't have any blood in stock that matches your blood type, we won't be able to save you today... so sorry" and in your final moments you'll be saying to yourself "Arrrg! Why are people so greedy that they can't spend an hour to donate one lousy pint of blood that couldve save my life tod........" ;)

but then they could have my organs

Hiram357
01-17-2006, 05:28 PM
but what if the ambulance driver is filling out your D.O.A. paperwork and gets a papercut while doing so, and he just happens to be a hemopheliac and bleeds to death because they don't have the right blood for him either, so the other paramedic has to drive and because he's not the driver he get's lost and ends up over in Jackman, by the time he realizes where he is, turns around and gets back to the hospital just in time to find out that your organs have already rotted away and been eaten by rabid squirrels???????? :eek:

dí76
01-17-2006, 05:48 PM
sounds like I'm sh!t out of luck

firefighterjake
01-17-2006, 05:56 PM
So what did the wife think of the gift?? did you wrap it with the cookie?? I give blood often and my light hearted sense of humor/stipidity really adds to the atmosphere, those questionaires kill me, every time i start i always just say "NO" right off, and then the nurse always goes into an in depth explanation of why i have to answer every question. last time i went i got a pretty nice long sleeve shirt. giving blood is cool :D

I bought her some amethyst earrings, a new phone, a throw blanket and a bunch of other gifts and to be honest I think she was most impressed with the fact that I gave blood in her name. I suppose it was the fact that I did something she felt was important that was the most meaningful gift of all . . . especially since it was something I didn't have any desire to do at first. Now? Now I can't wait to donate again . . . loved those cookies. :)

firefighterjake
01-17-2006, 05:57 PM
Just gave blood today for the first time in over 20 years or so. It was a good feeling and hope I will continue to do so from now on.:)

Did you tell them that I motivated ya? :D

P.S. Did you save some cookies for me?

firefighterjake
01-17-2006, 06:00 PM
I am ashamed to admit that I have never gave blood. I dont know why , I probably should cause some day I'm sure I will need it. Oh well, I am an organ donor if that helps.

Dave you can consider me like one of those zealous new converts . . . trust me on this . . . it didn't take up much time, it was wicked easy to do (you just lie there and afterwards you eat cookies), it was nearly pain-free (except for those questions about the Congolese chimpanzees since that brought back all those painful memories so very long ago with Coco and I :) ). I know my article was done with a humorous bent, but I have to tell you that it was an eye-opening experience for me. Try it sometime. The blood donor center here in Bangor does a drive every Thursday and Friday I believe or you can check out the area for a local blood drive.

Incidentally, I am also an organ donor . . . but I figure if I can help someone now I might do so as well before I'm dead.

firefighterjake
01-17-2006, 06:01 PM
well consider yourself asked :D now you have to go, or your overwhelming guilt will one day be too much to bear while your driving down the road by yourself one day, and you'll just burst into tears because you'll be thinking of all the lives that could have been saved by giving less than an hour of your time and a pint of blood. and your eyes will be so full of tears that you wont be able to see where you're going and your car will drift off the road into a tree and you'll be seriously injured and the paramedics will show up on the scene and theyll drag you out of the car and stuff you in the back of the ambulance and you'll be laying there saying to yourself, "thank God they showed up just in time to save my life" and at just that moment you'll hear one of them say "Uh-Oh, we don't have any blood in stock that matches your blood type, we won't be able to save you today... so sorry" and in your final moments you'll be saying to yourself "Arrrg! Why are people so greedy that they can't spend an hour to donate one lousy pint of blood that couldve save my life tod........" ;)

Actually we don't give blood on ambulances . . . with the one exception being LifeFlight -- the air ambulance.

Hiram357
01-17-2006, 06:18 PM
Actually we don't give blood on ambulances . . . with the one exception being LifeFlight -- the air ambulance.

can't ya just play along for the sake of the motivational story?????

oh by the way... for those of you that are considering giving blood, or questioning giving, here's a website for ya

http://www.newenglandblood.org/maine/

i think a lot of people (DAVE) could find it interesting and helpful and possibly motivate them to help save lives :D

Hiram357
01-17-2006, 06:23 PM
Actually we don't give blood on ambulances . . . with the one exception being LifeFlight -- the air ambulance.

i've always tried for the big injuries to try to get a ride on a sikorsky, but alas to no avail all i have ever been able to get is a few nights in the ERs and some lousy microwave dinners :(

but i did get to sit in one once, it landed at a small airstrip near and my dad and i stopped and talked to the guys and they gave us the grand tour, amazing machines those are. :)

robt
01-17-2006, 09:25 PM
Dave,

You should just go and do it!!! I absolutly hate neddles and time can be very hard to come by but I got into the habbit of doing it with my daughter. do it to spend time with someone you love, it is a great group activity!!!! After a while I was approached to donate double reds or whites, so this last year when my duaghter found out she was pregnant and could not give blood for now I signed up for double reds. It takes about the same time or maybe a little longer that the regular way, you do not have to sit around when you are done and you only give blood 3 times a year so it takes even less time. That and you get more confortable beds :) Now when I am do to give again I just call and ask them what they need.

If I can do it as big a wimp as I am I know you can do it!!!!!!:D :D :D :D

drbugman
01-19-2006, 08:00 PM
If you want to give blood, try caching in the Maryland woods. Maryland Briars are legendary (as are 8' fences off of a major highway that some morons who prefer to remain nameless (guilty grin) scale to avoid a long trek to cache!).:D