We, People in Maine...

Maine Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above zero
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat....
People in Maine plant gardens.

50 above zero
Californians shiver uncontrollably.......
People in Maine sunbathe.

40 above
Italian cars won't start.....
People in Maine drive with the windows down.

32 above
Distilled water freezes.....
Moosehead Lak's water gets thicker (for non-Mainers, this is a lake in Maine)

20 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.....
People in Maine throw on a sweatshirt.

15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat....
People in Maine have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

zero degrees
People in Miami cease to exist....
Mainers lick the flagpole.

-20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico....
People in Maine get out their winter coats.

-40 below
Hollywood disintergrates.....
The girl scouts in Maine begin selling cookies door to door.

-60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica
Maine's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes...
People in Maine to ice skating or skiing.

-100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.....
Maine-iacs get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products....
Cows in Maine complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.....
People in Maine start saying..."Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500 below
Hell freezes over......
The New England Patriots win the Super Bowl!