I've got three caches "at" a cemetery. In two of the cases however the cemeteries are rarely used (old ones) and the cache is right outside of the cemetery so cachers should have no need to be poking around headstones and turning up the earth in the cemetery . . . and it should go without saying that if for some reason someone is there paying respects to a relative or if there is a graveside service going on (although rare) one would hope the cacher would respect this and move on to another cache.
I only have one cache that is in a cemetery . . . but it brings the cacher to a stone where they use the read out from gc.com to answer some specific questions to get the coords for the physical cache located some distance away. This cache was also done specifically in memory of the four people who died that day.
This said, I have been very fortunate to not encounter most of what you mentioned Brdad . . . if what you say is happening it truly is not a good thing for the State of Maine and the geocaching experience in general.
Now, Laughing Terry's In Plain Sight caches on the other hand and your Old 470 cache are classics -- they frustrate me to no end, but cause no damage to the structures, blend in seamlessly and require no tool to access . . . plus I suspect one of LT's caches may be improving the cache area thanks to his donation.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."
"Death is only one of many ways to die."