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Thread: Enjoy!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Central, Maine
    Posts
    604

    Smile Enjoy!

    1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
    stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
    allowed per person.
    2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
    says "Dam!"
    3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
    the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
    have your kayak and heat it too.
    4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
    other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
    5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
    canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
    6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
    standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
    After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
    them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
    "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
    foyer."
    7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
    to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family
    in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
    himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells
    her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her
    husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
    Ahmal."
    8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
    opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked
    to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town
    thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
    close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to
    close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart,
    the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to
    close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
    be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby
    proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
    9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
    which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
    very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
    suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad,
    it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
    And finally,
    10. There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends,
    with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No
    pun in ten did.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Burnham, Maine
    Posts
    507

    Default

    Great twist of words, You made my morning!! I especially liked #9 but all were good..........Where do you find this stuff?? OK...I'll just assume you just came up with it yourself.
    What if the Hokey Pokey is what its all about?
    Have Fun & Be Safe!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bangor, ME
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    am i allowed to print this out or is it copyrighted material???
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Central, Maine
    Posts
    604

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty & Co.
    Great twist of words, You made my morning!! I especially liked #9 but all were good..........Where do you find this stuff?? OK...I'll just assume you just came up with it yourself.
    I can't take credit for it...it came in an email.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Solon, Maine
    Posts
    5,940

    Default

    LOL! I'll have to send these to my brother-in-law - a RENOWNED punster.

    It's smazing to see hm and his older daughter shooting ouns back and forth at each other.

    Thanks, Frank!

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