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Thread: You are from Maine if......

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Campobello Island, New Brunswick
    Posts
    398

    Default You are from Maine if......

    You are from Maine if...

    1.. you've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.

    2.. you get four inches of snow and you call it "a dusting."

    3.. your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24 hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.

    4.. you don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the country.

    5.. you know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.

    6.. you knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.

    7.. your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.

    8.. you can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.

    9.. you've hung out at a gravel pit.

    10.. you think a mosquito could be a species of bird.

    11.. you once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.

    12.. even your school cafeteria made good chowder.

    13.. you've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.

    14.. you know how to pronounce Calais and Machias.

    15.. you've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.

    16.. you've gone to a Grange bean supper.

    17.. in high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.

    18.. at least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.

    19.. at least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."

    20.. there's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.

    21.. you have shopped at the Big Chicken Barn.

    22.. your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.

    23.. you wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from away.

    24.. your house converts to a B&B every July & August for people from away that you happen to know.

    25.. all year long you're tracking sand in the house; from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.

    26.. you have a front door but no steps to get to it.

    27.. your kids start using "wicked" as a multi-purpose part of speech.

    28.. you have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.

    29.. you do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.

    30.. you've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!

    31.. you've had a vacation from school just to help the family pick potatoes.

    32.. you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.

    33.. you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.

    34.. when you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.

    35.. when people from "away" ask for directions and you intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.

    36.. you watch "Murder she Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.

    37.. you know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.

    38.. you take the New Hampshire toll personally.

    39.. you feel really really good when you cross the Piscatiqua River bridge into Kittery.

    40.. you always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.

    41.. a roll of duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.

    42.. you know how to avoid all the traffic at the Fryeburg Fair by using the "Secret Entrance".

    43.. you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.

    44.. you know how to get from Cumberland to Fryeburg via the "Egypt Road".

    45.. you can remember when the "Egypt Road" was a dirt track through the woods.

    46.. when you're supposed to dress up, you wear plaid flannel with a tie.

    47.. you know that Moody's Diner does NOT take credit cards!

    48.. you actually miss the fifteen below zero mornings in winter (that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect) because you enjoyed running or walking to work in the silent crystal stillness, punctuated by an idling car engine as the owner waited indoors for the car to warm up before his mad dash from warmth to warmth, and your lungs did not freeze; thank you very much for your concern.

    49.. the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.

    50.. there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.

    51.. you know what a frappe is.

    52.. you know the smell of Woodsmens fly dope.

    53.. you eat supper at night and dinner at noon.

    54.. your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

    55.. "vacation" means going to the Allagash for the weekend.

    56.. you measure distance in hours.

    57.. you know several people who have hit moose more than once.

    58.. you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    59.. you use a down comforter in the summer.

    60.. your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet o snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

    61.. you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

    62.. you install security lights on your house and garage and leave them both unlocked.

    63.. you think of the major food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.

    64.. you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

    65.. there are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.

    66.. you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    67.. driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

    68.. you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

    69.. you know all 4 seasons: almost wintah, wintah, still wintah and construction.

    70.. you know what it means when someone says they are going upstreet.

    71.. rumble strip warn not of toll booths, but moose crossings.

    72.. school kids toss their lunch (homemade bread and lobster sandwiches) in the wastebasket because they have them so often.

    73.. you can actually see the milky way.

    74.. you can use your brights on the highway.

    75.. L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life.

    76.. you encounter any sign reading: "Next Exit: 246 miles".

    77.. the nearest mall is 2 hours away.

    78.. you have to yield for snowmobiles.

    79.. lobster is $1.00 a pound.

    80.. the state closes down at five o'clock.

    81.. "The City" means exclusively Portland.

    82.. "salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.

    83.. all of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.

    84.. it's not a storm, it's a nor'eastah.

    85.. open 24/7 might as well be Greek.

    86.. you say room and people think you are saying rum.

    87.. you can buy a minivan with four wheel drive and chained tires.

    88.. all addresses start with RR#

    89.. you see a woman mowing her lawn in the nude.

    90.. a rest stop means a pit toilet and a picnic table.

    91.. there are more Massachusetts license plates then there are in Massachusetts.

    92.. there are towns with names like Skowhegan, Madawaska, Norridgewock, Millinocket, Mattawamkeag, and Oosoola.

    93.. more stores have "Bienvenue" flags than "Welcome" flags.

    94.. there are frost heave warnings on the highway.

    95.. you can get 17 French radio stations, but only one English one.

    96.. you know Moxie isn't a woman's magazine.

    97. you know that L/A doesn't mean a city in California.

    98. you know who "Marty on the mountain" is.

    99. the front page of your local paper repeatedly says "big storm rolls through the region".

    100. you go "off-roading" before and after school.

    101. you just go for rides in your truck around town for no apparent reason other than to take a ride in your truck around town.

    102. you get turned on when you see a big pickup with a loud muffler.

    103. you diet all week so you can consume 40,000 calories at a fair.

    104. you eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".

    105. you know that "The Airline" has nothing to do with planes.

    106. you know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.

    107. you know the difference between pea, Yellow-eye, and Red Kidney.

    108. you wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!

    109. you call that long sandwich an "Italian".

    110. you crave Italian at least weekly.

    111. you've taken a date to the dump to watch the bears.

    112. you know what fly dope is.

    113. as a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.

    114. the area around your back door is referred to as "the dooryard".

    115. you get up early on Saturday mornings in the summer to go "yardsailing".

    116. you eat potato chips with flavors such as "clam dip", "ketchup" and "dill pickle".

    117. whenever you say something opinionated, you end with the phrase, "That's our opinion, we welcome yours".

    118. the smell of clam flats at low tide, while disgusting, brings back fond memories of childhood trips to the beach.

    119. you call the basement "downcellah."

    120. you can start a sentence with "Ay-yuh" on the intake and complete it on the exhaust.

    121. you drive to Sugarloaf in the summer to watch the moose at the "bog" where a permanent bench has been placed.

    122. your grandmother called shorts, shots.

    123. you live in a mobile home with hard wood floors in the middle of a gravel pit.

    124. you live in a mobile home and have a brand new car and a satellite dish.

    125. you refer to "Uncle Henry's" as "the bible".

    126. you know a jolly, round, bargain-making man as Big Al.

    127. a 45 degree day in March means wearing shorts, laying out in the sun, picnicing in the middle of the snow and car-washing.

    128. you see a beat up Ford Pickup with a bumber sticker that reads: "I'd rather be bowhunting."

    129. you can hum the tune of "You should have bought it when you saw it at Mardens?"

    130. you actually know what "cumby's" is.

    131.You're at DUNKIN DONUTS drunk at midnight on friday and saturday nights

    132.You attend EVERY PORTLAND-DEERING sporting event...regardless of what it is.

    133.You know that there is a FOOTBALL game on Thanksgiving morning between the two rival school teams

    134.It takes at least 12 inches of SNOW for school to be cancelled

    135.You drink in parking lots all winter long unless ur 21

    136.You know what Bill's Pizza is

    137.You think that Univ. of Maine - Orono is another 4 years of high school.

    138.You know what the Old Port is

    139.You understand the theory behind Dimillo's floating restaurant

    140.You've skipped school or work to start drinking early

    141.Vacation means a trip to CANADA

    142.You know what an Italian Sandwich is

    143.You ride your snowmobile more then your GF/BF...

    144.Your garage is full of Tools... and Toys....

    145.Your Gf/BF can drive Ur Truck

    146. You've challenged your rival school to a fight at the "sandpits".

    147. "Doe piss" isn't an unusual smell on your husband/wife.

    148. You aren't cool unless you have blown up a toilet with an M-80

    149. Old Milwakee was the your first taste of beer and Red Rose your first taste of wine.

    150. You knew a trip to the woodshed had nothing to do with getting wood.

    151. You knew every back road there was for the best "parking" areas and weren't afraid to use them.

    152. Your best parties were at the sandpits or the old mills.



  2. #2
    d’76 Guest

    Default

    Very interesting. Thanks for the chuckle, I can relate to almost all of them.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Solon, Maine
    Posts
    5,965

    Default

    Wow! Is this how we look to Canadians? LOL!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    West Bath, ME
    Posts
    62

    Default

    thats a wicked good list

    I actually caught myself calling something wicked good at work the other day. Thanks for the grin.
    Any day caching is a good day.

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