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Thread: Have You Heard This One? (OT)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Solon, Maine

    Talking Have You Heard This One? (OT)

    Computer Terms in Maine

    Log on - Make the wood stove hotta.

    Log off - Don't add no more wood.

    Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove.

    Download - Getting the firewood off the truck.

    Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.

    Ram - The thing that split that firewood.

    Hard drive - Getting home in the winta.

    Prompt - What the mail ain't during the winta.

    Window - What to shut when it's cold outside.

    Screen - What to shut during black fly season.

    Screen saver - Duct tape for the torn window screen.

    Byte - What the black flies do.

    Bit - What the black flies did.

    Megabyte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season.

    Chip - Munchies for TV.

    Microchip - The crumbs in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

    Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway.

    Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife.

    Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass out.

    Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonalds.

    Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery.

    Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerios box.

    Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully.

    Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad sweepstakes.

    Web - What a spida makes.

    Web site - What's found in the corners of high ceilings.

    Cursor - Someone who swears.

    Search engine - What you do when the caa dies.

    Home page - Map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods.

    Upgrade - Steep hill.

    Server - Waitress.

    Mail server - Male waitress, damn few in Maine.

    Sound card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it.

    User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff.

    Browser - A problem moose in the garden or blueberry patch.

    Network - Mending holes in the fishnet.

    Internet - Complicated fishnet repair method.

    Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network.

    Online - Good sign there'll be clean clothes this week.

    Offline - The clothespins let go and the laundry falls to the ground.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Central, Maine

    Smile More

    virus - what you get if you are exposed
    virus protection - available at the drug store

    Keep 'em coming!

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