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Thread: The Duck Is Dead

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  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default The Duck Is Dead

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
    her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
    the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."
    The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
    Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
    "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
    testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
    few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
    As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
    The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
    with a cat.The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird fromhead to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowedsoftly and strolled out of the room.
    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
    most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
    Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
    "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!
    The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry but if you'd taken my word for it, the bill
    would have been $20, But............. with the "Lab" Report and the "Cat"
    Scan, it's now $150.00!!!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bangor, ME
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    Default

    LOL! best joke i heard today!! before that the #1 was...

    Two men were out fishing on a boat. One man thought he had forgotten his fishing liscence so he pulled out his wallet to double check, but he fumbled and dropped his wallet.... over the edge of the boat it went. The two men leaned over the boat to watch the wallet sink towards the bottom of the lake, but then a carp swam up to the wallet and snatched it into it's mouth, then a second carp came up and started fighting for the wallet, then a third carp, and forth. The two men looked at each other in amazement, then one said, "WOW! I've never seen carp to carp walleting before!"

    (it's so stupid it has to be funny!!!!)
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Solon, Maine
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hiram357 View Post
    LOL! best joke i heard today!! before that the #1 was...

    Two men were out fishing on a boat. One man thought he had forgotten his fishing liscence so he pulled out his wallet to double check, but he fumbled and dropped his wallet.... over the edge of the boat it went. The two men leaned over the boat to watch the wallet sink towards the bottom of the lake, but then a carp swam up to the wallet and snatched it into it's mouth, then a second carp came up and started fighting for the wallet, then a third carp, and forth. The two men looked at each other in amazement, then one said, "WOW! I've never seen carp to carp walleting before!"
    LOL! This one reminds me of a story about a geocacher who dropped his wallet off a bridge!


  5. #5
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    No No No it wasn't his wallet, it was his GPS. Here is the link I think you are referring to but the cache is archived now though. http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache...log=y&decrypt= A good story nontheless by Hiram357 on 4/30/06
    Just smile it won't crack your face

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=Haffy;26883]No No No it wasn't his wallet, it was his GPS. /QUOTE]

    Sheesh! Getting old is terrible! I was thinking GPSr but typed wallet - (dyslexic as well?) LOL!

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    No problem, you are forgiven....
    Just smile it won't crack your face

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
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    Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haffy View Post
    No problem, you are forgiven....
    LOL! Remind me to smack you next time I see you. I'll probably forget...


  9. #9
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    Sep 2005
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    Default

    ahhh... thanks for bringing that one up again, and with a link none the less!
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Unity, Maine
    Posts
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    Default

    I found a wallet once while geocaching . . . but no carps were involved. Found it around Skowhegan.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

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