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Thread: Wildlife Help Needed !!!

  1. #21
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    Jun 2004
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    Gainesville, Georgia
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmeserve View Post
    anyways when I talked to the people about getting rid of them they said i'd have to take them over 20 miles away otherwise they'd come back??? seriously???? I don't even know if I could find my way back if someone dropped me 20 miles from home HAHA

    By any chance you don't have a Magellan do you?.....
    Just smile it won't crack your face

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

  2. #22
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    Jun 2004
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    Solon, Maine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haffy View Post
    I see all kinds of em down here,unfortunately or fortunately however you look at it they are mostly roadkills. I did encounter one a couple of months ago in our backyard and tried to befriend it but when he showed his teeth that was my introduction to the mean little beasties.... and I'll stay clear of em from now on...
    Sheesh, Haffy! I thought that down there, "Raccoon Stew" was the main course most of the time?

  3. #23
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    Mar 2006
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    Auburn, Maine
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    I'll add my 2 cents to ask that you not transport any animal yourself because you might end up in my backyard. Let an animal control officer do it because they know where to bring it without it becoming someone else's problem!
    ~*There's Tupperware in thum thar hills!*~

  4. #24
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    Jul 2005
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    Unity, Maine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sudonim View Post
    Hey Jake, I hear that if you leash a monkey to the bird feeder, it will keep away the squirrels
    Really . . . now all I have to do is find one of those rarely seen Maine monkeys . . . or import some from St. Kitts.

    In reality I don't have a monkey, but I do have a Lucky -- a small, plucky black cat who has this thing for chasing after squirrels even though they outweigh her by a few pounds. Every once in a while when the squirrels are feeding I open the window and toss Lucky out kamikaze style at the squirrel and the squirrel starts running followed by Lucky (don't worry pet lovers . . . she really does enjoy it and we're talking low windows . . . and truth be told it was during the winter when there was snow on the ground.)
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

  5. #25
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    Jul 2005
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    Unity, Maine
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmeserve View Post
    ROFLMAO


    Yeah they are getting through a hole in my eves but I'm afraid that if I patch it up there will still be some on the inside and well in a few weeks you'll know what will come next and the attic isn't really an attic it's just a space between the ceiling and the roof which is about as big for only a squirrel Funny thing is they don't touch my birdfeeders.....go figure.
    And now the rest of the story . . .

    I first realized I had a squirrel problem when one night my wife and I were watching TV and she said she heard a noise . . . of course, my response being a normal guy in middle of watching TV was, "Noise? What noise?"

    My wife insisted there was a noise coming from our upstairs bathroom so I went upstairs . . . only to find a large gray squirrel sitting on the toilet staring back at me. Figuring that he wanted some private time to do his business I quickly closed the bathroom door, went downstairs and informed my wife that we had a guest.

    She was none too pleased with this development and said to do something about it . . . incidentally when I say "none too pleased" what I really mean to say is that she ran into the downstairs bedroom, jumped into the bed, pulled the covers over her head and yelled for me to get rid of the squirrel.

    Once again being a male I acted on the very first thought that came into my head . . . no, no . . . I didn't get my shotgun and start shooting up the bathroom . . . instead I looked for Teddy (a little Manx cat who thinks he is a person and not a cat -- really, ask Hiram and Steph -- he was sitting in one of their seats around the campfire when they camped out at my place last year . . . and I've caught him just sitting in the chair at the dining room table as if waiting for dinner to be served). Well I tossed Teddy into the bathroom like a manager pushing a boxer into a ring, closed the door behind him and gave him what little sage advice I could come up with on how to deal with the squirrel . . . basically I simply yelled "Get 'im Teddy!"

    Well when I told my wife what I had done she was even more displeased and started to yell for me to not kill the squirrel . . . whom at this point had now officially been named Rocky.

    I re-entered the bathroom only to find what can best be described as some demented version of the children's song "Pop Goes the Weasel" only instead of a weasel we had a gray squirrel and a Manx cat in place of the monkey. One minute the squirrel would be sitting on the toilet . . . Teddy would go to grab the squirrel which would then leap to the sink counter top . . . at which point Teddy would go to grab him again and the squirrel would leap to the shower curtain rod . . . at which point Teddy would attempt to grab the squirrel again and it would leap back to the toilet . . . I actually watched the two go round and round for about a minute before extracting Teddy from the bathroom, shutting the door and coming up with Plan B.

    Plan B can best be described as the Roman Gladiator plan . . . if you can picture me -- a short, fat balding guy in a T-shirt and jeans in place of the tall, muscle-bound armored Spartan . . . and instead of a Roman short sword, Etruscan net and shield you would need to picture me armed only with a broom, throw rug and laundry basket.

    My thinking was that by lashing out with the throw rug I would be able to knock Rocky down from his perch and then put the laundry basket on top of him . . . surprisingly enough this technique actually worked the first time I used it. Unfortunately, the thing I did not consider was what to do with Rocky once I had him trapped and my first attempt to maneuver the throw rug underneath the laundry basket was a failure as Rocky escaped.
    However, my second attempt was much more successful.

    I removed Rocky to the outdoors and figured my problem was solved . . . until a day later when my wife once again said she heard noises coming from the attic. Rocky was back. . . .
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

  6. #26
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    Jul 2005
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    Unity, Maine
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    Squirrel Squabble Part II.


    Well now Rocky was back . . . and this time he had brought some of his friends. Now I'm an easy going guy . . . it's in my nature . . . but if you push me too hard or for too long I can be a downright irritable guy and let me tell you, I was pretty darn close to losing it and so the next day I went to Mac's Hardware and bought myself a Hav-a-Heart live animal trap.

    I loaded up that trap with just about every squirrel delectable I could think of -- some apple slices, crackers slathered in crunchy peanut butter (Hannaford brand though . . . not Jiffy), cocktail peanuts . . . even threw in a can of Budweiser in case Rocky got thirsty (OK, I'm making that last part up) . . . and then when I had this buffet all loaded up in the trap I snuck up into the attic and carefully laid it out where I knew Rocky and his friends would find it.

    The next morning I returned to the attic . . . only to find one full, but very angry gray squirrel. To make a long story short, I took Rocky out and this time drove a few miles away and set him free after wishing him well.

    Once again I thought all was well . . . until that night when again my wife said she heard noises . . . I'm still not sure if it was Rocky or if he had brought friends, but clearly this time there was more than one squirrel making themselves at home in my attic. Once again I set the trap and once again I trapped a squirrel the next day.

    This time around I was determined to make sure that Rocky would not come back . . . I say "Rocky" because I was about 90% positive that this was Rocky and not one of his carousing friends. This time I drove Rocky all the way into downtown Unity. After urging Rocky to not return and extolling the virtues of his new home -- namely the proximity to a nearby restaurant, some nice woods, etc. I set Rocky free and went inside the ambulance base where I was parked to do some paperwork.

    About ten minutes later I left the ambulance building and began to drive home . . . and then dear friends is when tragedy struck . . . for you see I was driving along, croaking (clearly it was croaking, not singing) along with the radio when all of a sudden a small, gray squirrel dashed out in front of me . . . I swerved and hit the brakes . . . but alas it was too late . . . Rocky was no more . . . and so ends my tale of Rocky.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

  7. #27
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    Nov 2007
    Location
    Scarborough, Maine
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    No I don't own a magellan Haffy and OMG I think I just spit out my coffee reading your tale Jake!!!


    I didn't name mine so far they haven't appeared anywhere other then my attic but they are LOUD in the winter!!! They are always so busy I plead with them constantly to get on the same sleep schedule as me but they prefer to be different I guess.

    Which makes them fit into my house quite nicely!

    I need to get a cat...my hound dog just wants to follow them with her head when they run above and kind of perk her ears and tilt her head and then follows that by again laying it down and burying her snout in her paws...with a slight sigh of course as if it was rude of the squirrel to interrupt her precious sleep time.

  8. #28
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    Jul 2005
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    Unity, Maine
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmeserve View Post
    No I don't own a magellan Haffy and OMG I think I just spit out my coffee reading your tale Jake. . ..
    It was my pleasure!
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

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