Maybe you should do a write-up on how to fit in here in Maine . . . hopefully folks would see it for what it is . . . a light-hearted bit of humor . . . nothing less, nothing more.
Originally Posted by dubord207
Here are some ideas to get you started . . . again, this is all in jest.
Maine Fashion: Plaid . . . it's not just for golfers here in Maine. Red and black or green and black checkered plaid wool coats are required to fit in here in Maine . . . however you should not limit yourself to wearing them only in the Winter . . . these coats should be worn at least during the Fall, Winter, Spring and any day in the Summer when the temps fall below 70 degrees.
Maine Vehicles: Vehicles in Maine should either consist of a pick-up truck with a gunrack in it (although said gunrack may hold a gun, carpenter level or fishing rod) and at least one bumper sticker that says something about using plastic toilet paper if you're opposed to logging. Option: You may also elect to drive a Subaru . . . if it's at least ten years old, has a cracked windshield, a minimum of two rusted out wheel wells and a bad exhaust.
Maine Food: The key thing to know about Maine Palates is that everything should be bland-tasting . . . the only two spices you need in the kitchen is salt and pepper . . . unless you would count ketchup or vinegar as a spice. Also, put butter on everything . . . and if you don't put butter on said food item, douse it in either vinegar or ketchup. Note: If you order lobster at a seafood restaurant instead of clams, smelts, scallops or haddock folks will know that you are not a native Mainer.
Conversing with Maine Natives: Topics of interest to Mainers include . . . the weather, which is better: Ford or Chevy, the weather, the new restaurant in town, the weather, politics, the weather, how the garden is growing, the weather, the price of electricity, the weather, how much snow will come this winter, the weather, the price of heating oil, the weather, the price of gasoline, the weather, the newest electric generator, the weather.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."
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