Compulsive Caching Disorder
By Calamity Kane, aka calamitykane
There comes a time in many a geocacher's life when he or she no longer has the opportunity to "take it or leave it." Not only has caching become a way of life, it has become a powerful addiction. Now don't get me wrong, there are lots of worse things one could be addicted to, but geocaching can become an obsession. I can name several victims. If you've been caching very long, you can too. But the big question is: Are YOU addicted???? If you answer at least seven of the following questions with an affirmative, beware; you've probably crossed the line.
You know you're addicted to geocaching when:

  1. You call in sick in the morning and yet manage to summon up enough strength to go caching in the afternoon.
  2. You climb out of bed and run to the computer to check the new cache listings even before having your first cup of coffee.
  3. You promise your family you're just going after one cache and will be back in twenty minutes and then arrive home three hours and seven caches later.
  4. You're exhausted in the morning because you didn't sleep a wink all night trying to figure out the solution to the newest puzzle cache.
  5. The people at the local dollar store know you by name.
  6. Your family threatens to have you committed if you don't stay home long enough to ___________ (replace blank with whatever you're neglecting: mow the lawn, clean the house, do the laundry, etc.).
  7. You don't care if it's 97 degrees outside, the West Niles Virus and rabid skunks are at a peak, you've been offered tickets to a prestigious sports event, and your girlfriend is ready to call it quits. You just have to find that new local cache before someone else beats you to it!
  8. You find yourself spelling the word "cash" C-A-C-H-E instead of C-A-S-H.
  9. Depression sets in after you've learned you've been bumped off the top ten cachers on the leaderboard.
  10. Obsession sets in after you've learned you've been bumped off the top ten cachers on the leaderboard (your competition has declared WAR!).

As far as I know, there are no therapists currently treating "Compulsive Caching Disorder." Perhaps as a responsible organization, we should form a Geocachers' Anonymous. In the meantime, when you can no longer fight the urge, call me. I can be ready in a moment's notice!