(I received this in the North team's Capture the Flag Yahoo Groups listserve, and thought is was worth passing along...)
(Adapted from Patton's Adress to his Troops) - with Battle Hymn of the
Republic Humming in the background
Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for
his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for
his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about The North
Geocachers not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war is a
lot of horse dung. The North traditionally love to fight. All real
Geocachers love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all
admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big
league ball players, the toughest boxers. North Geocachers love a
winner and will not tolerate a loser. North Geocachers play to win,
all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and
laughed. That's why the North have never lost and will never lose a
war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to the north.
Now an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps and fights as a team.
This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The biggest bastards who
wrote that stuff about individuality for the Forums don't know
anything more about real battle than they do about Geocaching. Now, we
have the finest food and equipment (to include flask's new GPS & car), the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, my God, I actually
pity those poor bastards we are going up against. My God, I do.
We're not just going to beat the South, we're going to stomp them and
use the remains to grease the treads of our "geo-vehicles".
Now some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll
chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that
you will all do your duty. The South are the enemy. Wade into them.
When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was a
soggy geocache, you'll know what to do.
Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get
any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not
holding on to anything. We'll let the South do that. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything except all the CTF Travel Bugs. We're going to hold them by the tags and we're going to get them to the Bonus.
Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get
back home and you may thank God for it. 30 years from now, when you're
sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he
asks you, "What did you do in the Great Capture The Flag Game of
2005?" you won't have to say, "We'll, I shoveled gutters in Maine, New
Hampshire and Vermont". All right now, you sons of mothers, you know
how I feel. OH! I will be proud to walk with you wonderful guys into
battle anytime, anywhere.
That is all.