OK, here is what happened, I go into Big Lots to buy a bug zapper fly swatter and see a kayak hanging on the wall. Knowing I have a hell of a time getting into and out of my inflatable kayak and can't really run the thing because of my extreme inflexible knees, I try it out in the store and buy it. I can sit in it up right. I didn't know they had foot pegs so that helps a lot.

I proceed to take it on an easy cache in a very still stream and manage to snap the paddle that came with the inflatable in half. I try to portage up over a beaver dam and can't figure how to get back in and find myself floating sprawled on top of it paddling with my hands with the bow almost under water. I think I might be too heavy for it. I then try one last time to get back in the seat and roll it over. I brought my whole caching bag with me and everything gets soaked. My phone, GPSr, Nuvi, camera and watch. I got the camera, watch and GPSr working. I lost the Nuvi and phone.

So here is what I need:

1.) life vest for a bald headed cigar sucking fat guinea.
2.) Paddle that wont break moving said fat guy through the water.
3.) lessons. I found out the what I thought was a water drain turns out to be a water tight compartment.
4.) A car navigation system. I would like to get a Nuvi 500 so I can do Werigo caches, but I'll get something else if it is cheap enough.

I already know to look on the online sites like ebay, but I thought maybe someone out here might have one they want to get rid of.

Besides money I have some specialized skills. I can offer a paranormal investigation and if need be removal session. Also a fire investigation or consulting on codes. I might even be persuaded on giving hints on my lost treasure.