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Man Falls Asleep At Church...

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, myhusband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's veryembarrassing. What should I do?""I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I willmotion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him agood poke in the leg."In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticingthis, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made theultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones."Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with thehatpin."Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who isyour redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towardsMrs. Jones."God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin."Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did notnotice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a fewmotions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet herhusband with the hatpin again.The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she borehim his 99th son?"Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick thatgoddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in halfand shove it up your ass!""Amen," replied the congregation