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Thread: Ten Husbands

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Caribou, Maine
    Posts
    639

    Default Ten Husbands

    A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

    "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

    "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

    Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

    Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

    Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

    Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

    Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

    Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

    Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

    Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

    Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...God, I miss him!

    But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"

    "Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

    "You're with the Government. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED!
    Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own ignore list.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Solon, Maine
    Posts
    5,940

    Default

    What did you say you did for a living, Jordan???

  3. #3
    dí76 Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WhereRWe?
    What did you say you did for a living, Jordan???
    It is unlikely that if he is a full time student at UMPI that he has time to make a living

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Caribou, Maine
    Posts
    639

    Default

    Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy.
    Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own ignore list.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bangor, ME
    Posts
    3,961

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    Quote Originally Posted by J_Cyr
    Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy.
    wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee.
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Caribou, Maine
    Posts
    639

    Default

    Sounds like you don't have time to even stop and drink some coffee!
    Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own ignore list.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Unity, Maine
    Posts
    3,866

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hiram357
    wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee.
    You my friend would make an excellent candidate for any city, state or federal agency . . . I'll let you know if there's an opening in Bangor.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Gainesville, Georgia
    Posts
    3,875

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hiram357
    wow, you're busy like me! i usually spend about 2hrs driving to my place of work each morning, then i sit around and drink coffee for about an hour, and then i venture off to the first jobsite... probably another hour or so drive, then i stand around drinking coffee and BSing for another hour, then its off for an hour lunch break then i decide that there's not enough time to get anything done at this job, so i then venture off to another job (another hour of driving) have a quick half hour coffee break, and relize that its getting late and start the 3 hour drive home after stopping for coffee.

    Hey Hiram,I'm unemployed at the time would there be any job openings in what you do?
    Just smile it won't crack your face

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Unity, Maine
    Posts
    3,866

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by J_Cyr
    Ha, busier then most people I know... full time student, fire fighter, work 20+ hours a week at a local business as a mechanic, work 15+ hours at the funeral home being an undertaker and funeral diresctors assistant, I do alot on ebay and then try to work on old VWs in spare time... whenever that happens. I am busy, but I like to stay busy.
    Quite a wide variety of interests there Jordan . . . talk about working in life-and-death fields. As a firefighter you may end up saving a life . . . or you may end up seeing them on the other side (no, not that "other side") if things don't go so well and they end up needing your services at the funeral home.

    As a mechanic you can bring a dead car back to life by simply (well, maybe not so "simply") putting in a few parts and as the undertaker . . . well, there's no fixing that issue I suppose.

    I assume you're with Caribou FD?

    Also, you've probably mentioned it, but I'm curious . . . with such a wide range of activities . . . what exactly are you going to school to do?
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

    "Death is only one of many ways to die."

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