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Thread: Euro-English

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Bath Maine

    Default Euro-English

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl rite n styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

  2. #2
    dí76 Guest


    Thats Great!!!!!!!!!!! I love it. And scary as it may seem, It all was clear as mud!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Standish, Maine


    Wow, that is great!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Caribou, Maine


    Sadly... I understood that.
    Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own ignore list.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Bangor, ME


    i tried reading after i sobered up and i couldnt do it!! does this mean we all have to be intoxicated 24/7 to understand the goverment? and be part of the youreapeein union?
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    stonington me


    zat vas vay kol
    "life is short...make a mess of it!"

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