Quote Originally Posted by Cache'n Jacksons
Personally, I try to stay away from the large female ports....

The large female port you are referring to is probably a parallel printer port. What model HP is it? I can look online at the specs and see, there's a chance there's a serial connector on the motherboard and it just needs the port and a wire. If so I probably have one I can give you. If not, you can get a USB-to-Serial adapter cable, like this one on Cyberguys.
Thanks Glen I 'll see if I can get an adapter cable,maybe radio shack will have one.