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12-07-2006

As a kid my brother, sister and I loved riding from the little town of Thorndike to what seemed to be the big city of Waterville during Christmas time. While the ride seemed to take forever most of the time, at Christmas the time and miles flew by as we would be transfixed by the Christmas decorations.

As kids we would invariably turn the trip into a game by seeing who could spot the most Christmas decorations on the way in . . . of course whoever had to sit in the middle of the seat on the "hump" was always at a significant disadvantage . . . and in the end it didn't really matter anyways since the game would generally dissolve in allegations of cheating (counting decorations from the other sibling's side of the road).

I must confess that I still love driving home from work at night and looking at the Christmas decorations, but it seems to me that some folks have gone over-board when it comes to decking the halls. It used to be that the most elaborately decorated homes had lights on the home's eaves and a Christmas tree.

Today's home owners seem to delight in creating a virtual Winter Wonderland of lighting. I shudder to think what the electric bill looks like when it comes due. Elaborate lighting systems, gigantic snow globes, monstrous blow-up critters . . . where does this madness end? One wonders how Santa manages to make his rounds without going blind from all the lights.

Things were much simpler when I was a kid. Mom would usually have Dad string a few lights on a small tree outside or on our eaves. About the only time Dad got even remotely creative was the year when Mom asked him to build a star and light it up. Dad built a star all right, but he built it out of 2 x 4s and it was a Star of David . . . long-time neighbors that year were quite confused as they wondered if we hadn't converted to Judaism and were celebrating Hannukah that year.

It's not that I'm adverse to decorating . . . far from it. In fact, this year I decorated our porch and a cat spruce growing outside in our front yard. Maybe it's just me, but I just think that while my set up isn't nearly as fancy or awe-inspiring as some neighbors, it is less-Vegas-like and is more in line with what this season is all about for me.

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12-06-2006

12-6-06

Thoughts on the Holidays . . . I mean Christmas

I'm not really much of a revolutionary, but I've had it with all the "Happy Holiday" crapola . . . whatever happened to wishing folks a "Merry Christmas".

I know, I know . . . in this day and age of political correct-ness we need to make sure we don't trample on anyone's feelings, right? OK, I'll buy that . . . and so right here and now I'd like to apologize to any folks that have beliefs that end in -an, -ish, -im, -ist or -anza (that would be for the Costanzas celebrating Festivus.)

There, now that I got that out of the way . . . I see nothing wrong with wishing folks a Merry Christmas, singing Christmas carols or having a Christmas party at work or at school . . . especially since Maine is something like 97 or 98% White, Anglo-Saxon Protestant or Catholic. Don't get me wrong . . . I think we should embrace folks with all beliefs, but why do we feel compelled to strip out all reference to Christmas.

I mean my belief is that if I'm in Israel I wouldn't expect to have folks wishing me a "Merry Christmas" (although I recognize there is a size-able Christian population there along with the Jews and Muslims) . . . I guess I'm saying I would half expect folks to wish me a Happy Hannukah or Ramadan and wouldn't feel slighted if no one wished me a Merry Christmas . . . and I would rather someone wish me a Happy Hannukah or Ramadan than have someone wish me the blase "Happy Holiday" greeting.

There are some great holiday celebrations embraced by folks around the world. Rather than attempting to lump them all together I think we should take turns celebrating the various holidays from year to year . . . for example, one year we can celebrate Christmas with all of its traditions, followed by Hannukah the next year, Ramadan, Tet and so on.

So here's my idea for celebrating the "holidays" in the future.

German (Adventstime)
In German St. Nikolaus visits children on December 6th and leaves presents in children's shoes that they leave out for him. This is a fine idea . . . providing I'm allowed to use the boot outside of the LL Bean Shop in Freeport since I doubt that 42 inch plasma TV won't fit in my size 10 Nikes. Besides, I don't think anyone wants to be poking their hands anywhere near by footwear without wearing a Level 3 HazMat suit.

Channukah
First things first . . . is it Channukah or Hannukah? I see it spelled both ways and this truly confuses me. I mean you never see Christmas spelled "Christmas" and "Hristmas" . . . you do see some folks spell it out as Xmas. I never did like the Xmas thing since I was raised by strict Baptists who were convinced it was a plot to remove "Christ" from Christmas. A few years ago I read the "X" had something to do with the Greek alphabet . . . nevertheless I still can't shake the habit of abbreviating Christmas as C-mas for some reason.

As a kid I loved the idea of eight days of receiving gifts . . . especially since no one seems to do the 12 Days of Christmas anymore. The idea of eight back-to-back Christmases seemed like a dream come true. Now that I'm an adult however and I have to buy a lot more gifts than I receive I'm rethinking those thoughts.

Winter Solstice
I must profess my ignorance with this holiday. I know it has something to do with the days "growing" longer . . . a search of the web reveals that Wiccans and Pagans celebrate this holiday as it has something to do with the birth of the ancient Sun Goddess and/or her son the Ivy King. I'm still just as confused about this holiday as I was before I researched it . . . nevertheless I think having a big baby shower to celebrate this holiday would be a lot of fun.

Ramadan
Muslims that commemorate Ramadan spend their days praying and fasting with their only meals before sunrise and after sunset. I'm not sure if I'd be so gung-ho for this holiday simply because it just doesn't sound like much fun -- where's the presents, the songs, the feasts, the consumerism?

Nisser
In Denmark Christmas is celebrated with the arrival of Nisser -- pixies dressed in red and gray that apparently work along the same lines as the Mob. However, instead of demanding payola they want rice pudding which I can only assume is something similar to tapioca -- which I think is the only dessert worse than Jello. The deal works like this . . . if you put out rice pudding the pixies will leave you a present and if you don't put out the pudding the pixies will play pranks on you. OK, so maybe the pixies aren't quite like the mob . . . they don't outfit anyone for a pair of cement shoes or send them to sleep with the fishes.

Burn the Devil
Guatemala, like many other Latin American countries, seems to love to spend their holidays blowing things up and burning stuff . . . which might explain why there are so many revolutions down there. In Quema del Diablo (Burn the Devil) on December 7th the citizens set off firecrackers and set bonfires -- so much for Silent Night.

Kwanzaa
This relatively new holiday is celebrated by African-Americans. The seven letters in Kwanzaa correspond to seven principles. It's a neat idea, but as far as I can figure there's no presents, feasts or days off from school.

Boxing Day
This holiday is celebrated in Canada, the UK and countries like New Zealand and Australia. As a kid I thought this was a day set aside for a big fight in Vegas . . . and then later I mistakenly thought it had something to do with giving the empty Play Station 3, plasma TV and MP3 player boxes to the hired help as a way of rubbing in the fact that they only got a book of Lifesavers for Christmas. These days I'm still a little vague as to what this holiday actually entails.

Festivus
The newest holiday to come along is Festivus . . . a holiday celebrated almost exclusively by the Costanzas of Seinfeld fame. On this holiday the participants decorate a Festivus pole, have a dinner at which time they air their grievances and then they perform feats of strength which mainly consists of a free-for-all wrestling match. I'm not holding my breath on this holiday taking off anytime soon.

So there you have it . . . a few holiday traditions I think we should embrace. Instead of wishing folks "Happy Holidays" we can rotate each new holiday from year to year and the appropriate greeting that goes along with that holiday.

Of course this could get pretty confusing for the retailers who will have to stock up on entirely new decorations each year . . . I mean they'll have to have giant inflatable snowglobes with Santa one year and then a mennorah the next followed by a pair of shoes the next and so on. Hmmm . . . maybe this isn't such a great idea.

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