View Full Version : Cyberbilly

09-19-2005, 01:05 AM
A hick was in jail serving 30 years for committing unnatural acts with farm animals. After serving about 12, he was notified that his Uncle Joe from Chicago has died and left him over $100,000.

The hick was so happy when the warden gave him the news, that he made a promise to put the money in a trust fund until he was released. The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying up the money.

The hick said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a PC. The warden agreed and got him a computer -- a brand new Compaq. After a few weeks, the warden visited him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement, he saw the computer smashed on the floor.

The warden asked the hick what happened and the prisoner said it didn't work properly and that it would not even complete the simplest of tasks.

The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do, and the hick said he just wanted one simple task, but the computer couldn't perform it.

The hick said, "I hit the Escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothing, I am still here. I think I'm going to sue Compaq."

09-19-2005, 09:23 AM
Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said " Ya know Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane."

and every year Martha would say "I know Stumpy, but that ihplane ride costs ten dollahs.... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So Stumpy says " By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old, if I don't go this time I may nevah go."

Martha replies " Stumpy, that there aihplane ride is ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So the pilot overhears them and says " Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride, if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten dollars."

They agree and up they go.... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard, he does it one more time, still nothing... so he lands.

He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says " By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to holler out, but you didn't."

And Stumpy replies " Well, I was gonna say something when Mahtha fell out...but ten dollahs is ten dollahs!

09-24-2005, 11:02 PM
And Stumpy replies " Well, I was gonna say something when Mahtha fell out...but ten dollahs is ten dollahs! :D:D:D:D:D